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For 2011 I'm no longer posting on here. I can now be found at:


SolisRough.com

What the Repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell Means to Me

As many of you know, I served in the U.S. Navy from the beginning1984 to end of 1995.After 12 years it was regrettable to leave. I enjoyed my time in the Navy.

What I liked most about it, was the sense of accomplishment that came from doing a good job with highly commendable people. I liked meeting all different kinds of people from all over the country.

It was my truest exposure to diversity. In all of my jobs that have succeeded I have not worked with a more broad range of diversity in terms of  cultures and geographic heritage.

That's why it was so odd and heart breaking in making the decision to leave. I left active duty, and ultimately the navy, because of the institution of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

Believe it or not, before the institution of this policy, life as a Gay man in the Navy was easier. I'm fairly certain most of my shipmates knew of my orientation. Or by virtue of not wanting to know, knew. They had long stopped asking me what I did on the weekend, or who I hung out with.

I was in a relationship with Rob after 1989.  The notion that I had something so wonderful occurring in my life and not being able to share that with the people I was most close to on a daily basis.That part was difficult. I loved those folks in the navy. They were mostly my family and we supported one another. I felt very supported and mostly loved. I had achieved a high degree of accomplishment in a short period of time. The evidence of this is worn on one's sleeve. Literally. Having three chevrons in just seven years spoke about as much me when I walked in the room as anything I could say.

I really miss that. The notion that the first thing one looks for in a person when they walk in isn't the color of the their skin, the swish in their walk, the status of their ring finger, or the twang in their voice. You can size nearly anyone up in the first introduction by virtue of what was on their chest and what was on their sleeve. I was proud of what mine said about me.

I had been awarded the Navy Achieve Medal which is the highest commendation of personal achievement one can receive. What I was most happy with was that I earned this during the period of Desert Storm. Because of my status as an administrative professional in a squadron of aircraft specialists and aviation warfare specialists (who usually hogged all of the spotlight - we were there to fly planes after all) this accomplishment was especially noteworthy. And the idea that I did this during Desert Storm following a nomination for Sailor of the Year for my Squadron and Western Pacific Fleet among said AW's and other aircraft specialties made me especially proud.

But I had to walk away from all of that when it became clear that the tide clearly turned after DADT was instituted. All of a sudden, those who previously hadn't cared about orientation issues began talking openly and sometimes with hostility about the issues of Gays in the navy. Sometimes they would clearly escalate the volume of their commentary in my direction. All of this served to make me highly uncomfortable and fearful.

In 1984 I went through a horrendous arrest and investigation after being charged with homosexuality and sodomy.

I had no desire to go through that dehumanizing experience again. (I'd rather not relive that here - i've done so in a blog past, so if you're interested in knowing the details, I'm not afraid to share them, I just don't have it in me to go into it once more here)

I've always considered returning to the Navy. Not, as an active duty member, but rather as a reserve member. Particularly in today's troubling economic times, and the state of Social Security I want to return so that I can complete my eight years to complete my time in order to earn my retirement. This is very important to me, and my family.

Our hope is that DADT would be repealed by now. This is particularly important because of my advanced . . . age. It appears this is the last year I have to re-join in order to reach retirement before age 60. A requirement to join the military.

So for me, I PRAY that the U.S. Senate and the President do the right thing and lift this antiquated, inhumane, and discriminatory practice. I'm speaking up about this because for those who are my friends or know me - know that this is important to someone you know.

Please do  your part to support the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

The Connection & Potential Reason No One Talks About

So, this theory is mine. I've not read anything in the media about this. Although I've looked. And, I don't hear anyone making the link although I've read "why" quite a bit as it relates to this story.

Why is the big questions that Americans want to know about in many cases where someone seems to turn against his own countrymen. How could any American turn on another. How could anyone, let alone a member of the military sell secrets to another. Or worse. In this case, just giving them away. What happened to loose lips sink ships?

 In our jingoistic society, where America is the land of the home, brave, the free and the unspoken - chosen, how could anyone who is American not subscribe to the same notion that our country is the greatest on earth, without rival, without peer.

Now. Let me stop here and indicate that I do think our country is great. Whether it's the best or greatest is all relative to the criteria. Do we take care of our children better than any other? In terms of education, or health care? Arguable.

Do we have the best record on human rights? Well. If you include gays and lesbians - clearly not. And herein lies my theory.

Here's my own "why" to propose to you the reader: In a world where Private Manning is not valued as a person, as a human being by his own country - why would it seem so strange that he holds no allegiance to his tormentors?


The deal is just this. In America we don't see how bigotry and divisiveness affect "all" of us. Some people may think, well "I don't know any Gay people. So, not my problem". Another may think "There are no Jewish people in my world so this doesn't affect me". And, still another may think "I have black friends - so discrimination doesn't apply to me". We ask Private Manning to serve, but we don't allow him to be a human being. Anytime we practice intolerance of this kind it hurts all of us.

Here's a person that dropped out of high school, grew up in conservative Oklahoma, may have transgender issues, and certainly is a proponent of dismantling of Don't Ask, Don't Tell and is reported to have felt not accepted by the military community. The bigger question of why belongs in the category of why do we think, as Americans, as human beings, that we can continue to ostracize people and not expect them to act in a manner that you or I might think erratic or irrational. In Private Manning's mind, he may be using the only weapon at his disposal to strike back at a larger community - his country - that has refused to accept him.

I deplore the act he may have committed, but part of me also understands the lengths that some people would go to to find vindication for their existence. Let's try and continue our efforts at dismantling homophobia. If my theory holds any truth, and as evidenced in this situation, homophobia hurts us all.

Is LapBand Surgery For Everyone? - The Recent Push by the FDA

There are new advocates proclaiming that the Gastric Lap-Band surgery be made available to more people. I think that's great. There is a caveat however. This really has to be made in conjunction with education. Education about the Lap-band and what its pitfalls are is just as important.

I've had tremendous success with the surgery. Speaking strictly from a results perspective, it's been an A+. What's important however is to take in the whole picture. It's not been without drawbacks and challenges. Some of them even have hazardous consequences. So, the concern on my part is that people, who otherwise don't have access to all the information wouldn't know that it's not a simple as it is sometimes presented.

It certainly was presented to me as simpler than it turned out to be.

For example. I was assured that it would only be essentially an outpatient procedure. I could check in the morning, and be out by the afternoon. To be sure, I was informed it was surgery but because of its "non-invasive" nature, requiring an incision to install it, but not any cutting inside - that I could be out the same day. In fact, the receptionist who greeted me at the clinic on a Thursday informed me she'd had the procedure on Monday and was already back at work.

All that bodes well. However, as with many things, not all people respond the same way. It's sometimes harder for some to recover than others. My recovery for example, was more like two weeks. I was substantially bruised, bloated and sore. It hurt to move and I didn't feel like moving even if I could with an overall "gassy" and full feeling. All a result of surgery.

There's an emotional component that accompanies it. There was a slight depression from laying around the house for a couple of weeks. That was compounded by the realization that after all that I wasn't losing weight right away. The band is installed without any saline in it. And, it's not added for about a month after surgery recovery. So, the high expectations I had were dashed when a month after the surgery I'd barely lost much weight at all.

Once the saline was added however the results were dramatic - two pounds a week in some instances. But here too, I had a difficult time moderating my eating. This resulted in a lot of regurgitation. Not really throwing up so much as just unswallowing. This made it difficult to discern when I really got ill which occurred about a year after the surgery. I had over eaten perhaps, over a period. The result was an expanded esophagus. The symptoms were grave. I was turning white because my blood pressure dropped to dangerously low levels. I felt weak. I hadn't had a bowel movement in forever. I was dehydrated as nothing was entering my stomach, even water. All this resulted in a complete removal of the saline a rebound of gaining 40 pounds of the 130 I had lost.

Incrementally, I reintroduced the saline. While never returning the fill level I had prior to the complications I still have returned to a state of an inflamed esophagus. The saline again has been greatly reduced and I'm currently on liquids until my next appointment. All this presents a dangerous condition because food that is allowed to remain in your esophagus, which is not a part of your body which is set up to break down food, like a stomach - will essentially rot, provide you with a lethal infection with bad consequences.

So, it would appear that my relationship with food itself has not been resolved. It will be an ongoing challenge that the Lap Band is a tool to assist with. But, it's not a solution only part of one. I hope that those who offered this - really comprehend that part of the procedure.

My God Mr. President. Knock it Off.

The main reason I've become disillusioned, and now I see many of my fellow Democrats are is because it seems we have a president who is trying to give the milk cow away - when no one has even indicated they're thirsty for milk. He's a bad negotiator. He's a bad poker face. And, he seems to be obsessed with trying to please the other side. That might be a great recipe for someone who genuinely seeks to be a uniter, versus a divider. HOWEVER - there is one crucial element missing from the formula. We're dealing with a Republican Tea Party out of control and hell bent on American political system destruction, at whatever cost, including the betterment or success of the American economy.

Thus. I would suggest. And, only politely of course - Mr. President - pull your head out of your ass and lead. Or, please GET out of the way and let someone in next term who will do the job. There is an evil worse than a typical dishonest, self serving politician - that is a weak willed, dishonest, self-serving politician. My contempt grows by the day.

http://www.npr.org/2010/12/02/131733220/liberals-obama-doesn-t-compromise-he-caves

Another Year in Houston for Thanksgiving

Houston
Originally uploaded by SolisRough

We have a tradition that we've acquired since moving to Texas. That's that we travel to Houston to be with friends.

It's turned into a very fun weekend of shopping, hanging out, catching up and of course - eating. But, really the whole weekend is about gratitude. This year was much scaled back in terms of pace.

I think that's a good thing although it takes some getting used to. I'm used to being in the middle of everything. This year I purposely took a back seat to let others take a lead. I didn't even participate in half the outings, but I'm here Sunday in the afternoon following the holiday. I'm at Strange Brew Coffee Shop, and I'm not completely wiped out and exhausted.

So, maybe there is an upside to not running a amok EVERY weekend.

This photo is of Rob, Justin and I. We enjoyed meeting Landrum from Virginia and spending time with Rich from West Virginia. We even got an opportunity to visit with Patty and Sue from San Jose. That was nice since it had been at least 5 years since Rob saw them.

Overall it was a nice weekend and it's good to be home.

Things to be Grateful for Today

Dash. Ugh
Originally uploaded by SolisRough

Even when bad things happen, one can still find some solace in knowing that things could always be worse. No. Really. They could be.

Gratitude often comes in the form of either how it could be worse or the people in your life that you share these events with that somehow lessen the problem and help reduce it to it's right size.

This picture is what I woke up to this morning when peering inside my vehicle but here's what makes it not such a big deal.

1. They chose my car over some poor frail or elderly person that wouldn't be as ready to deal with the police and insurance issues that always follow.

2. I have insurance.

3. They broke the window and not sliced through the convertible top.

4. I have a vehicle to break into.

5. Hell - I have two. So, this wasn't my only way to get to work this morning.

6. The Diamond Dog Dodge is a "thing". It's not an irreplaceable person or something like my health.

7. Husbands who remind you of number 6 while standing in their jammies among broken glass.

8. Husbands who while in the state of number 7, send you off to work, while they call the police.

9. Husbands who sweep glass and move the truck back into a safe place in the garage.

10. Husbands.

11. Especially #10.

:)

Diamond Dog Dodge is Having a Bad Morning

Diamond Dog Dodge is having a bad morning
Originally uploaded by SolisRough

This morning I arrive to my truck and find glass on the ground. Not ever a good sign. But, looking inside made it worse. It was all chopped up in there. Wow. If someone is going to be a thief, I would think they'd want to be quick and good. I can't imagine the fussing they must have done to get at the stereo to create this much damage.

I wish I had a dog that would have woken me up. :(

Our Nukes Are Good, But our Cows and Cars Aren't?

It's odd that after just a week after President Obama left Korea with an empty sack that news of South Korea considering asking the U.S. for nuclear weapons to be deployed in their country. Believing the U.S. to be in a poor bargaining position, they've offered few concessions in key areas of trade. Thankfully, President Obama passed on their unattractive proposal. Not surprising, RMO Fox (Republican Media Outlet) and others have criticized the President for coming back empty handed. The same outlets that would have derided him if he came back with a treaty which was unbalanced.

Now though, it seems South Korea may want something from us. Nuclear weapons? Really?

When you think of how much the political fall out would be with Russia and China if we tried to reintroduce new weapons in the Korean Penninsula against the idea that our cows and cars are tarriffed among other items and kept out of Korea - I think this idea is a non-starter. At least I hope it is.



http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&username=xa-4be9943c2de1875b

Hi everyone, I posted a new episode to my podcast, Solis Rs SoberTexas Podcast. Please click the link below to view it.

http://recoveryspeakers.podomatic.com/entry/2010-11-20T09_41_31-08_00 See you there! - SolisR