Taxing Health Care Benefits? Are you Crazy? Oh. Wait.

There is a 'new' debate in America at the mere suggestion that part of the national overhaul in health care might include (get ready to gasp) a new health care tax. The result of this might be that Americans would be required to pay taxes on the benefit they receive from employers on their health care benefits. Essentially, the IRS would look at a persons health care benefits as taxable income, rather than the current exempt status.

This idea is considered radical by some - welcome by others. Who would consider this a welcome idea? Taxes??

Well, there is a school that says when you tax something it reduces consumption. And, when you remove a tax it increases consumption. The by product of taxing these benefits might result in people becoming more active in the selection and take on more activist roles in demanding higher quality - and lower prices from their health care insurers. Currently, the tax exemption on these benefits may result in ending an employee's passive approach to the benefits they receive.

Which brings me to the real point of my rant today and the use of my quote marks around the word new.

Wake up America. No. really. Come-to. Gain consciousness. Grow up.

Welcome to my world. The one I've been talking about for years. And let me pose this question to you. How does it feel?

I'm a proponent of this tax. If, for no other reason to provide equality and parity. Even though my current situation would result in a reduction in income with the addition of this tax, I've seen the inequity of being one of those who pay it, while the many of Americans do not.

What I'm talking about is another example of the two Americas class structure we live under - American Apartheid. Whereas one group of people, predominately straight - set up laws that fail to recognize another group of American's predominately not straight. Gay people have been paying this tax for years. We've always paid this tax. It's one of the fiscal inequities (there are many, many more) which serve to oppress an entire class of people in this country. Most people aren't aware, or don't think about this of course because they are unaffected.

But, when Rob struck out to start his own business we had to find an employer that would allow us to have both of us covered by insurance - like most families in America. In 1995, the Sacramento Bee, my employer at the time, did not offer this benefit. I sought out employers in the Sacramento area that did. One of them, was the University of California. Traditionally higher education related employers are much more progressive in this area - unless you look at an institution like the University of Texas, which in most respects is a leader in education and research but in other areas think it's 1909 instead of 2009 - but I digress.

Once I accepted a job at the University of California, Davis - I added Rob to my benefits as a domestic partner. Aside from the hoops I had to jump through that traditional married couples are not, we were just pleased that Rob would have this. We tried for a period the route of the self-insured and found that for his little start up company - health care was eating up 50% of his operating expense budget!! What business can operate under that kind of cost structure!? (i.e. witness the current state of the auto companies).

What did come as a surprise though was the pay stub attached to my first check. What? I was surprised to see that Rob's benefits were taxed. Not only were they taxed, they were taxed at the estimated "value" of the benefit (i.e. the amount that I paid in addition to the amount the university covered). I shrugged at the time thinking how unfair that my co-worker who sat across from me had a different tax structure than I did.

Didn't we do similar work? Hadn't she just met her husband like 6-months earlier, her 3rd marriage, etc. etc. (this isn't about her after all). Where is the justice in that?

So gay people, who are in unsanctioned marriages like Rob and I, have been paying this tax all along. It usually gets no notice. The payroll representative I inquired from when I saw the stub that first time, had to research and call me back with the answer because she wasn't aware why my tax deductions were different than my co-workers around me.

I hear the collective gasp that this proposal has initiative has caused.
I understand the trepidation of headed down this road of taxing something that for 'most' people was here-to-fore not taxed.
But, I just can't quite work up a tear. Why would I. Finally - parity. Even if I wish we could achieve parity in the 'other' direction by providing this exemption to everyone.

But, justice, is justice.




Christopher @ Brazil in Houston
Originally uploaded by ChristopherSolis.

Summer Begins - Friendships Change

Three Amigos
Originally uploaded by ChristopherSolis.

We have a new Supreme Court Justice Nominee, Ms. Sotomayor. We have an abortion Dr. (Dr. Tiller) who was murdered last week. And, President Obama is running around the Muslim world, making nice.

Closer to home, Spring is in full bloom. Summer almost approaching. I didn't even know the trees needed pruning. I'm oblivious to such things. Remember, I'm the one who could just as easily live in a condo. I've never been very invested in having to have space. The only reason I could see having any outdoor space would be for a dog - and Rob is clear, this is not in the near future. Sigh.

Thus, I could care less about the state of the trees or lawn for that matter. Are they long? Oh. I guess they are. So, let's hire someone to come and cut them back. Oh hell - cut them down - then we'll save future cost. But, Rob is a yard person - and so I can easily conced this space to him. The yard is his to do with what he wants.

These things are becoming less contentious all the time. He let me have complete freedom on the paint choice colors in the living room (mostly anyway) and recently he's agreed the Master Bedroom is mine to decorate as I'd like. Wow. This is from two folks who used to argue about moving the vase a little to the left, or a little to the right.

I guess as one gets older, things like whether we have a quit or comforter on the bed, just don't seem as important. We're grateful that Jerry and Eric came over to lend a hand to Rob. It's fantastic that he has friends who 'get it' and understand his love for the yard and things green. Things of green make me sneeze and don't get me riled up like they do Rob. So having folks who can get as excited about such things is truly a blessing!

-----

The President has nominated Sotomayor to the Supreme Court. Mom called me the other day and asked my thoughts and to be completely candid, I haven't formed an opinion.

I have my concerns. One is that she's been completely mum - well, with the exception of the recorded rant they keep playing in the media that some have charged as racist. But I do want to be understanding of the process and that she can't be forthcoming on her views on things like abortion, etc. To do so would only stir up opposition so the very nature of the process requires that she be tight lipped. She is Catholic, which in my book is not necessarily an asset.

While some say we should "trust" the President - that he certainly wouldn't nominate someone who wasn't pro-choice. Would he?

But, my trust for all things Obama is waning. Remember, this is the evolution of candidate Obama who promised to end "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". He's since backed off that. And, as California continues it's march to falling off in to ocean, and less and less people caring - the President still carries the same stance as most moderate Republicans which is to say, he does not believe in marriage.

But, for a warm, fuzzy, we're all in this together platform where has he been on this issue? Why didn't he even provide an indication that he stood in solidarity with millions of us who live under American Apartheid?

When advised to judge a man by the content of his character, the character is demonstrated by action - and our President has taken none.

----

I really don't get involved in the abortion debate. It's a sad, sad state of affairs that anyone would be in a position to have one. With the widespread availability of contraceptives there should be no such thing as an unwanted pregnancy. And, it is certainly not solely the woman's responsibility. This is a shared responsibility between the two people. That being said, they do occur. And, I support a family's right to choose such matters for themselves. Thus, I support maintaining this freedom while continue to support the use of intelligence, and planning for goodness sake.

What I don't understand is "pro-life" people who advocate "death" for abortion providers. Some don't see this as consistent. I am one of them. What's been hard however is realizing, particularly in Rob's case, how we're different from the Midwest folks and the values they hold. I lived there for four years, and Rob of course is from there.

What things like Gay Marriage, and Abortion have brought to the surface is our incompatibility and that's sad. How does one maintain a friendship with someone who looks down their nose at you, and says that your relationship isn't as valid as theirs? I'd like to pose this question to Miss Manners. I'm certain she'd respond with something like "Dear Gentle Reader.. in all the decorum one can muster, one should simply look them in the eye and advise that self-fornification might be advisable"

Well, since we're not those kind of people, we've agreed that it may be time to allow some of these relationships to die a natural death. Sometimes matters of distance and time can't be overcome with a quick connection on Facebook. Or a once-every-6-months-check in whose entire content can be summed up right here .. like this.

How are you?
We are fine. You?
We are too.
Talk to you in Six Months?
Ok, take care.
Bye.

This is hardly the process by which friendships flourish. It would appear, that they can't even be maintained.

If you love someone, let them know today. And, take more than three words if you can to do it.

Dramatic Skys

IMG_0758
Originally uploaded by ChristopherSolis.

Mom reminds me today that I need to update my blog. It's been a little while. We were at dinner last night and looked up into the sky. The one thing that is definitely different between Texas and California is that the Texas skies are certainly dramatic when there's a thunderstorm moving in. And, we had quite the lightening storm last night.

Rob loves it because he sits on the back porch and watches the sky. He likes to sleep with the windows open, which makes me crazy of course, because it's still hot and muggy enough to have the air on. I hate the air on, AND the windows open. So wasteful.

Everything is going good here. I'm putting the frosting on a cake, and rob is drinking his press pot coffee. We're laughing about the time Mom insisted she'd try it even though we tried to disuade her from it. The face she made still sticks in our mind - and makes us laugh.

That was in Mountainview, 1990. Almost 20 years ago! Wow.

Hugs from Texas.

A Great Weekend in Austin. Rockband Rules.

We had a great evening at Janice's a couple of weeks ago when we celebrated with Zylo. See you next time!

Ten Days Before My Goal Date

Pictures are are:

Me before surgery, 20 pounds shy of 300. That's Jon in the background. A fun day, but I don't look like this anymore.
Next is me on a sunny day a couple of weeks ago sitting next to the Turtle Pond on campus at UT. Rob and I were having a great lunch date.
Next is me with some friends from Dallas.
Next is me, in my new "medium" gap shirt at Chris and John's just yesterday at a game night event.
Lastly is the graph that shows my progress along the way. I'm not there yet, but I'm so close!










































I wanted to reach a hundred pound weight loss prior to my anniversary date of 1 year. And, I made it. I'm so happy with the progress. There have been times of discouragement, but mostly the scale has been cooperative. There were plenty of flat spots. But, even in those flat spots, people seemed to think I was losing weight. Maybe my body has been adjusting all along the way.

I'm feeling good for the most part! (Although, not at this precise moment of writing, because I just took a bite of chicken that was too big).

I'm still learning about eating differently. I'm trying still to remain conscious about how big a bite I take, and also how fast I eat and thoroughly I chew. This is not as easy as you'd think! I have a lot of years of not thinking about eating to undo.

But there's been some really good victories to commemorate this year.

• I no longer have aching knees/joints.
• I can fit behind the steering wheel
• I don't struggle to get into tight spaces
• People don't have to pull their chairs in to the point they are turning blue, so I can squeeze by
• I participated in a 5k
• I have gone from a 46 inch waist pant, to a 33
• I have gone from 3x Shirt to a Medium-Large
• Rob says I look amazing, and that means a lot
• I feel better about my ability to address my health
• I can sit in a booth at a restaurant
• I walk faster and folks don't have to wait on me (as long).
• I can board a plane without fear about the seat
• I can sit in the movie theater next to my friends and not spill over into their space
• I don't feel self-conscious walking into rooms full of people
• I feel younger
• I feel closer to the person I think God would have me be

So, all of those things mean a lot. But, they aren't everything of course. There are benefits of course related to appearance and such. But, mostly I'm glad that I just feel better. I am still about 10 to 20 pounds away from my goal. (I debate whether I'll stop at 170 or 160). But, I'm confident I'll make it by end of July, beginning of August.

Everyone has been so, so supportive and I just couldn't ask for better friends or family. I feel so loved, that I'm truly the luckiest person in the world - without regard to size. I hope to see you all soon.

Us Having Fun

This was us at John and Chris's the other night having an evening of games. We enjoyed Aurora's famed Ginger Cookies, but I fear it may have pushed me to a 99 pound weight loss instead of 1oo. Sigh. Oh well - I can see this is going to be ongoing. :)

By Any Other Name

I've kept mostly quiet about the whole Miss California versus Perez Hilton. Mostly because it's just two kinda queens battling out views in the media and I don't think either of them does a very good job of representing their constituencies or communities.

I wish Perez would just shut up and go away. He's inarticulate, ignorant, and a fame seeker of the largest magnitude. His main claim to fame is a blog site that is just a venue of gossip and really, who cares?

Miss California - well, one only need to hear her open her mouth to draw a conclusion.

So now that Miss California has appeared in different states of undress, the battle heats up. Was this before her boob job? Or, after? Was she 17 or was she 18? Are the pictures too revealing for the today show? Does all this line up with her spokesperson status for the religious right? (Click on the title of the blog to link to the news story)

Blah, Blah, Blah.

Ok, now I wish both of them would just shut up and go away. Perez: You may have had a make over so your hair is prettier, but everything that comes out of your mouth is still ugly. And, you don't represent my community. So, please throw a disclaimer on what you say because people presume you're like every-gay-man. And, you are not.

Miss California: You can claim Christian morales and high ground if you want. But, really - by my estimation anyone who takes off their clothes for money and fame can call yourself a 'model' if you insist, but there are other names for it too. You may want to remember about that casting the first stone thing.

So, that's all I have to say about it.

The Death of an 86 Year Long Era

When I was a upcoming graduate of Del Campo High School, I'd saved a little money. I worked at the A-1 Grocery Store. It was a little mom and pop store in downtown Fair Oaks. Mr. Lee was a Chinese man who hired me because he thought I was "good boy".

Riding the bus home from school was never much fun. I didn't get along well with most of my class mates, and the confined space of a bus didn't help that situation much. So often I would walk the few miles home instead. When I walked, I often passed this home that had a car parked on the side of the house.

With the grass grown high in front of it, the headlights appeared like the eyes of a cat stalking me as I walked past. I always wondered why it just sat there. It seemed like a nice car with the exception of all the dust that had settled on it. From what I could see, it had a teal blue interior. A Pontiac. 1964. The year Pontiac's started getting really good.

The 60's certainly were the grand years for the brand. I don't know, looking back, if it ever got any better than that. Certainly years later, 1985, driving around in my friends Korean made, front wheel drive LeMans, it was clear that someone at Pontiac completely had no emotional connection to the 60's.

But I digress.

With just a few hundred dollars in my account from my work at the cash register and helping Mr. Lee with sides of beef I walked up to the door one day and knocked. I didn't know what I was going to say but the mystery of what seemed like a perfectly good car sitting there with GTO dual-hood-scoops had to be solved. The woman who came to the door was very nice.

She said her son Billy had parked it there when he left for college back east. He'd since decided he was not returning to California, having accepted a job out of school - also back east. He'd ok'd her to sell the car, but she just never got around to it.

I was not very good at the game I would later learn of being a disinterested buyer. It didn't occur to me to not tip my hand, that I really "had" to have this car. I think I might have even hopped up and down there on her front porch at the prospect of buying my first car. I think Mrs. Billy's Mom was fighting a smile as she anticipated my next question.

Might she sell the car to me?

"Well", she wondered, "The car has been sitting there for a while. It runs fine, but the battery may be dead". "I don't care" I said - losing any pretense of a poker face.

And, so it was, 1 battery for $29.99 and a hundred dollar bill to Mrs. Billy's mom, I was driving home in my 1964 Pontiac. I don't know if I've ever been as excited to drive a car home since. (Although my husband Rob might declare that he can't imagine me being more excited than the day I bought my first BMW convertible, or when I finally landed the rare 1989 Dodge Dakota Convertible that I'd wanted a long time).

Having that memory and also the one of the other Pontiac I drove (a 1975 Firebird Esprit with a 400 Cu Inch engine and a 4-barrel Quadra-Jet Carburetor) made it especially sad today to hear that the many years of GM mis-management have resulted in the demise of this brand.

Remember? Pontiac was supposed to be the 'excitement division'. Sure, many of the cars were knock off of Chevrolets but they were nicer, sportier for sure, and often times, I thought - far better cars. One of the things about growing older that I'm finding is the melancholy that comes from remembering good times when we didn't worry about things like the downward spiral of American manufacturing preeminence. Or that these products, which we emotionally connect with - like cars would be perceived as one of the pariahs of our social ills and economic collapse.

It's going to be harder as time marches on, I supposed, to fight the resistance to be one of those "old" people we used to make fun of. You know, the ones who'd claimed about how things were better in the 'good ole days'. I don't know if they were, or they weren't. But they sure seemed simpler.

I just know that as I watched that 1964 Pontiac hooked up to a tow truck to be taken off to Rancho Cordova Dismantlers that I had a feeling of sadness. And, I'm experiencing again watching a whole division full of history being dismantled. I was holding two one hundred dollar bills in my as the tow truck turned the corner. And, somehow that didn't provide any comfort - knowing that I'd made a hundred dollar profit from the price I paid for the car.

My hope is that all those executives at GM who have plundered this company for personal gain and have, for years, disregarded the brand value and historical trust they were charged with steering have just as little comfort counting their money knowing that the whole division has been hooked up to a truck to be taken to the wreckers.

But time marches on. Things change. Products come, products go.

Then again, right now - some high school student somewhere might be walking home looking wistfully at an old Hyundai. I just can't imagine - in my mind - that once he or she turns the key and pulls out on the road that the experience will be the same. No Hyundai of any year will be a 1964 Pontiac.

At the Turtle Pond

At the Turtle Pond
Originally uploaded by ChristopherSolis.

Rob and I had lunch on campus today. It's beautiful outside but
supposed to be a record high. It's not so bad in the shade though!

C!

Dark

It's Friday morning and it's dark and spooky outside. I had to turn the lights off to get the picture outside my office window, because it's so dark - all you could see was the reflection of the glass!

Over 3,000 lightening strikes over Texas in the last hour. It's wet outside.

Tomorrow I'm walking/running in a 5k. I know. Shut up - right?

Me - exercise? Two words that don't traditionally go together. But, it's a fundraiser for the Students in Recovery on campus, and I agreed some time ago that I would go. And, after all - a commitment is just that right?

I'm also at 187 on the scale which brings me to just 7 pounds to my next milestone goal of a 100 lb. weight loss. So, that's a good development. I just had an adjustment last week to the band, and I'm back to an 8cc fill. I had scaled back to 7.5 when I went to California and Michigan so that I could fly (and land) comfortably and not be as queasy when I arrived. It was nice stepping down to 7.5cc but in a period of 6-weeks, I didn't lose a single pound! Of course, I didn't gain any either - but after consistent loss, it was a little discouraging to see the scale remain the same, day after day. But, the loss has started again, and my goal is to lose the next 7 pounds in 4 weeks. Should be easy right? We'll see.

I've been struggling a little bit with having to step back to liquids for a while. The solid food just isn't settling very well - but it's a temporary thing.

We have a big weekend ahead (when don't we). We're doing dinner with friends on Saturday night and my new friend Daniel is having his friends from Houston. They are looking forward to meeting Rob and I as he has told them so much about us, and we're glad to meet new folks.

I'm sure it'll rain during the run tomorrow, but I guess I'll bring an umbrella. I'm not so worried about my time, so I guess if it turns into a stroll in the rain, that should be fine right? I've been Twittering and Facebooking more than blogging these days, but I'm not ready to give up on the blog (like you Mr. Rob) - so I'll just have dedicate myself more to taking a moment to sit down and write a thought or two. How can I expect you to tell me what's going on with you, if I haven't been willing to share?

I hope this latest note finds you well and I get to hear from you or see you soon. The hail has just started falling but it doesn't appear to be golf ball size, so I think we'll be ok. Take care!