Heading Into the Home Stretch

Dear Friends,

Most of you probably are already voting this season, NO on Proposition 8. As a new resident of Texas, I have no dog in this fight (as we say here in Tejas).









That, not entirely being true, I wanted to take this opportunity to convey the importance of this legislation to me and my family.

When Rob and I decided to marry in 2005, after already 16 years together, it was because we felt we wanted to share a momentous occasion with those closest to us. It was particularly important because we value our family and we know that they value us as well. This was an opportunity to acknowledge as an extended family all of our commitment to one another.

But, the legality of marriage is of the highest importance.

When I finished my service in the U.S. Navy after 12 years of service (8 active 4 reserve) and I returned home with 3 Good Conduct Medals (for being a good sailor), the National Defense Service Medal (for my service during the Gulf War), Coast Guard Meritorious Unit Commendation (for participating in what was at the time one of the largest domestic drug interdiction) and the one I'm most proud of the Navy Achievement Medal (the highest personal award presented for individual achievement) I expected Rob and I would settle down in my hometown of Sacramento and start a new life.

After living with years of opression, in the form of Don't Ask-Don't Tell, and undergoing some truly humiliating experiences in which I feared for my life and sanity - I just wanted to live a 'normal' civilian life. It was enlightening and disappointing though to see the discrimination on the inside of the military extends outside, just taking different forms.

When we found our dream home, we couldn't get it because I couldn't use my VA loan in the way a married couple can. We swallowed hard, let go of the dream of owning that home and settled on a condo that we could get. Not our ideal, but still our first home!

When trying to get homeowners insurance, we weren't able to get the insurance discount offered other customers who have their home and cars jointly insured with the same company - because of our marital status. After waiving our arms and raising our voices, we finally convinced AAA to compromise. They gave us a conditional offer to extend the discount to a non-married couple. The condition was we registered each others cars in both our names (at the time, Rob had his, I had mine). When we approached GMAC they indicated we would need to pay a $250 application fee. This fee not required of married couples. For a married couple, you can simply add the spouses name to the loan. For non-married couple, it's considered a separate application process. We forewent GMAC and refinanced the cars through the Credit Union.

The credit union however directed us to the California DMV to add each other to the titles of the cars. For married folks, this is simply an administrative process with no charge. For unmarried folks it is treated like the sale of a car. You have to pay a transfer fee and obtain a smog check.

Ok (sigh).

We went to take the car to get smogged and since they'd need it for several hours, we decided to cross the street and rent a car for the day. The lovely folks at Enterprise quoted me a rate different than the one being simultaneously quoted right next to me! The lovely lady explained that the couple next to us was married. In California there is an implied liability for married couples. For we non-married types, we would need to pay an additional driver fee.

Folks, if you're straight - you may not be subjected to this treatment in America. So, you could be forgiven for not knowing it even exists. If you're Gay and not in a relationship, you may also be unaware. Unless you're a person who is confronted with this type of atmosphere regularly, you may be not be conscious about how pervasive discrimination extends throughout our society. The institution of marriage, whether you agree with Gay Marriage or not - carries the weight of law and as a result many of the benefits in our society - have been joined to it.

These benefits should not be refused to those who have no power to make the choice of entering into the institution.

You might argue that the purpose of marriage is for pro-creation, but not all married couples pro-create. You might argue that no church should be forced to perform a ceremony for people they don't wish to recognize. Check. We're in agreement there too.

So I guess if we remove some of those arguments, I'm still waiting for the one which makes moral and ethical sense. Isn't it ironic that folks who might try and claim some moral high-road by claiming some religious or biblical foundation for their argument aren't as rabidly opposing the invasive pop culture phenomena which degredate marriage like Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire, or Marry My Dad, or The Bachelor, or the Bachelorette, or fly-by-night-get-hitched-in-Vegas-by-Elvis operations, or prison marriages, or marriage-to-promote-citizenship-to-immigrants, or marriage between opposite sex for reasons other than love, or marriages because of teen pregnancy and your momma is running for Vice President, or any number of abuses of an ideal they claim to hold so sacred?

Is it any wonder that the Gay community looks at these folks with skepticism that they aren't sincere?

Before I ramble myself into too much bandwidth. Let me just conclude with my sincere stand on this issue. Issuing a marriage license to two people soley on the basis of their gender - without any regard to any other criteria - is unjust. There's no argument that you can convince me of which says that a veteran, such as I, who have contributed to the betterment of my community, has paid my taxes and have worked hard to improve my neighborhood and the quality of life where I live - is less qualified to enter into this state-sanctioned-institution than someone who has just committed murder, never paid a dime of taxes in his life, and who couldn't even care about this argument because they never vote! Yet, they are entitled to a whole segment of entitlements, others are not.

If you can somehow reconcile your reasoning, please give me a non-demonational, pro-American, sane and reasonable explanation. Thank you.

Christopher Solis-Rough
Texas Resident

A Weekend of West meets South

We had a great visit from our friend Kev and his compadres. We tooled around, and saw stuff. We ate tons, or as much as one can eat banded anyway. And, we danced, danced, danced. I had a great time and I'm sure everyone else did too. We tried some places I hadn't yet, like Milaga's a tapas restaurant where the meatballs were the best. Although that place was seriously loud. So great place to eat, but not necessarily the best for conversation.



I put together this video from the trip so we could see some fun pictures from a great weekend. We made it to the Oasis. That's the place that looks out over lake Travis and Mom and Rocki when they came to visit really loved that place.

We had a small problem with the jeep the boys were driving, but after one tow truck call and a crammed backseat back to town, we were back in vacation mode again! We did have that small problem Saturday night with the Valet stand that closed before we retrieved the car resulting in.. no car! But my new friends from California put me up in their hotel so I didn't have to walk from Downtown to North Austin. Quite a hike!

We sure enjoyed the Spider House and hanging out until the time for their departure came. Which was sorta sad, because I wanted the weekend to go on and on. But, I'm sure they'll come back to visit again. There's plenty of reasons, there's so much to see and do - and believe it or not, we never made it to 6th street all weekend. Can't believe it!

Through all that dancing and only attempted eating, I had another great weight-loss-weekend, tipping the scale this morning at a total weight loss thus far of 60 pounds. Wow.

I hope you're all doing well and I look forward to seeing you all. Soon.

Finally. Somethings Going Down

Finally. Somethings Going Down
Originally uploaded by ChristopherSolis.

Watching the final debate this evening. I'm not seeing anything new. Well, maybe "Joe the Plumber" is new.

I think anyone who hasn't made up their mind by now, is either brain dead or just fibbing.

As far as I'm concerned, let's just hold the election now and be done with it. It can't be my imagination that this is the longest election of all time. It's like Christmas shopping. It's starting earlier, earlier and earlier.

I don't think we're benefiting from this point. It seems like it's just negative because there is no point in trying to outlay any new ideas this late in the cycle.

So, I'm tuning out. I have enough information to make a decision. So, if you're one those people who says "oh, I just won't know until I step into the booth" - God bless ya. I'm thinking what more information might you need??

I took this picture today because I was amazed that gas has finally come down some. I swear just 2 - 3 weeks ago it was like $1 more than this a gallon! How does that happen?

I hope you're doing well. I've hit one of those plateaus in my weight loss. The needle hasn't moved lately but I'm doing alright. Let me know how you're doing!

I Had to Prove It Was True. It Happened.

I, like many of my friends, have become a Facebook junky. It's become part of my semi daily routine. Just like checking my voicemail, checking my email, now I've added - checking my Facebook. It's a great way to connect with friends and family. What are they up to? What is going on in their daily lives, let's see their pictures. What are they doing right this minute? What is their status update? This one is at Starbucks - this one is feeling blue - this one is at work, and should be working - this one is climbing a mountain (which makes you wonder, why the hell would you be at the top of a mountain, trying to connect to facebook?!) (Insert laugh here). We all gave the person a hard time about that one.

When I was drinking, I'd often think well - I can't have a probelm, because I'm not as bad as him or her! And, I find myself doing the same thing. I would never climb to the top of a mountain, and rather than taking in the view, hope that I could get an internet connection so I could announce to the world that in this moment I feel happy. Not that I'm at the top of a mountain, but that I could connect to Facebook.

But now, for those of you who are Facebookers too, you know it's not just about the collection of updates and peeks into what folks are up to. There's all these applications which run on Facebook and I can play scrabble-word scraper-scrabulous with one group, race cars online with another group, and send birthday cards, receive little daily well wishes, and Ouch! I just got poked!

If you're wondering if this writing will be a litany - or railing on the evils of Facebook - think again! I'm in the middle of my addiction! I don't have a problem.

Oh and I just beat my friend Eddie (aka Emma) in Word Scraper. She's one of the most linguistically intellegent friends I have who traditionally kicks my ass from one end of the block to the other. But on this day I achieved a monumental victory. No, I didn't lose a hundred pounds (yet), no - I'm not counquering a mountain top, nor did I discover a cure for the common cold..

I BEAT EDDIE IN A GAME OF WORD SCRAPER - LIFE IS GREAT!

I even took a picture of the screen to prove that it actually happened. I hope you're as happy for me as I would if you'd discovered I had just won the lottery. Because I may not ever do that but I did this.

Ok. I can go back to trying to be humble again. Thanks for indulging me in this gloating commercial.